No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
