dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
