Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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