wat bout pragnant strippers??
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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