day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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