Betty ford says i'm here all night
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
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we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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