And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
