he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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