someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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