I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
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You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
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There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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