Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
