The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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