love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
