We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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