he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
