she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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