i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
