I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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