just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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