a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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