I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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