im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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