then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
