new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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