New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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