Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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