I am in a vortex of obligation.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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