It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
