i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
pray to the hookup gods
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
