Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
