you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
