i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
