we have pet lesbian snakes
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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