so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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