girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
