I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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