yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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