I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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