Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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