oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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