the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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