Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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