My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
