Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
