Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
