NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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