hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sext me about skeletons
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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