idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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