at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He? As in you personified your dick?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize