im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
