Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
