i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
