I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
