take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
is it fun? or sober?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
