When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize