nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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