I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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