Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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